


The Well

by Paper_Crane_Song



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e10 Forever in a Day, Episode: s03e11 Past and Present, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 20:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20413663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paper_Crane_Song/pseuds/Paper_Crane_Song
Summary: Daniel thinks he’s reconciled to Sha’re’s death. Jack isn’t so sure.Set directly after season 3’sPast and Present, after Ke’ra leaves.





	The Well

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the episode _Meridian_ recently and was struck by Daniel’s words to Oma - “I believe my entire life has been a failure.” At first this statement felt like an out-of-character thing for Daniel to say, as if the shame had come out of nowhere, but then I began to see glimpses of it in episodes such as _Forever in a Day_ and thought I would start exploring it more.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Your feedback and thoughts are most welcome.

The wormhole dissipated and Daniel stood there, staring after its wake. 

Jack approached him cautiously. “Hey,” he began, softly - 

“I’d really like to be alone right now if you don’t mind,” Daniel said without looking at him. 

As Daniel left the gate room Jack turned back to Carter and Teal’c. The concern he felt was mirrored in their faces, but none of them spoke. This was how they all communicated now, without words, ever since Daniel had regained consciousness in the infirmary after they’d found him and Sha’re, so understanding and forgiving and frustratingly zen-like that for a moment Jack was convinced the ribbon device had permanently fried his brain, until Daniel told them a story within a story of a Harsesis child and Share’s message and days passing in seconds, and then it all made sense. Kind of. 

“I’ve already cried, I’ve already grieved,” Daniel said, “I’m fine. Really.” 

Trouble was, he didn’t look fine, propped up on the bed, the pallor of his face matching the white of the pillow, the ribbon burn raw and angry on his forehead. But it was more than that. It was as if something inside Daniel had been...extinguished. This wasn’t acceptance, it was more like fatalism. 

Jack should have called him on it. Recognised the signs that he himself was all too familiar with. A well of pain so dark and so deep that the easiest way to deal with it was to throw yourself into an almighty distraction, be it a suicide mission across the galaxy or running blindly into a relationship without thinking of the consequences. 

So that was why he was standing outside Daniel’s office despite Daniel’s request to be left alone. The door was shut, a sure sign Daniel was in and keeping everyone else out. He tried the handle; thankfully it wasn’t locked, and the door opened. 

The room was dim, a solitary lamp in one corner, and at first glance it looked like Daniel wasn’t there after all. But then he saw him. 

Jack shut the door quietly, rounded the desk. Daniel was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the side of the desk, legs outstretched in front of him.

He lowered himself down so that they were shoulder to shoulder. Daniel didn’t look up.

As his eyes adjusted to the gloom he saw that Daniel was holding the photograph of Sha’re. 

To break the silence he said, “It’s you, by the way.”

The cryptic words were enough to rouse Daniel’s interest. “What?”

_“Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world?” _ He repeated Daniel’s question back to him. “You. I would trust you.” And he meant it. Sure, he trusted Teal’c - he knew Teal’c would die to protect him, just as he knew that Carter would always have his back. But Daniel was the only one he trusted to be brilliant enough and to care enough to ensure that they’d both come out on top. That they’d both live.

“Then you’re a fool.”

He blinked, surprised. “Daniel -“

“I couldn’t save her. I promised her I would and I didn’t.” Daniel clenched the frame in his hands.

He hesitated, very aware of how much he was out of his depth here.  “Did you tell that to her? When she was - “ he faltered at the right choice of verb and landed on “‘ribboning’ you?”, wincing as he said it. 

“No. I was too busy trying to get my head around what was happening. I mean, we talked, but it was mostly about the Harsesis. And forgiving Teal’c.”

“Check,” he said, sketching the symbol in the air. 

Daniel smiled a little at that. “Yeah.” 

“You know...” Jack paused before continuing carefully, “it sounds to me like you haven’t really said goodbye.”

“But I did, at the funeral. Twice.”

“Yeah, but the first time wasn’t real and the second time it was like you weren’t even there.” He remembered how Daniel had knelt in the sand in front of the weighing scales reciting something about a feather and sin and Share’s soul found true, and he may as well have been reciting a grocery list for all the emotion he showed.

“Because I’d already done it the first time.”

“But it wasn’t real - ah! Never mind.” He stopped before he ended up smacking Daniel over the head. 

Gentler now, he said, “I think you need to go back to Sha’re’s grave. Tell her you’re sorry. Ask her to forgive you.” His throat constricted and he forced the words out. “Tell her goodbye.” Suddenly he was grateful for the darkness of the room, because the weight of his own grief had come upon him so thick and so heavy on his chest that he  could hardly breathe. 

For a long while neither of them spoke. Then Daniel said, “Will you come with me?”

He nodded. “Sure.”

He wasn’t naive. He knew one visit to Sha’re’s grave wouldn’t come close to dealing with the monumental guilt that Daniel was feeling. 

Butit would be a start.

_Finis_


End file.
